Getting on stage and screaming at all Republicans does nothing more than isolate people.
To be labeled pathetic because you enjoy the company of a loving creature who is always down to hang out, sleep, and eat with you is unfair.
It's always nice to be paid to be in Las Vegas.
I don't know what it's like to be mocked because of your skin color. I don't know what it's like to feel overweight. All I can do as a woman is have compassion, treat other women with kindness, and allow them to just be happy and not judge them for it.
I'm not winning any modeling awards, I'm not a Rhodes Scholar, but I genuinely feel that if you're taking time out of your day and your energy to comment on my art, then I got your attention.
I think we're very quick to rip other women apart when they don't fit our mold, which, quite frankly, is just as bad as a man tearing you down for something, if not worse.
I got a job as a coat check girl at a nightclub - this was in my first few months of being in L.A.
When you travel, try having an open mind, not just about the city that you're in but about the surrounding areas.
I'm pale, and people need to accept that I'm almost see-through.
Women are often scrutinized when they have pets that men wouldn't have. We are immediately faulted for having the wrong kind of pet rather than anyone first think, 'Wow, she rescued an animal that would have been otherwise killed and gave them a great home - how sweet!'
Unfortunately, we don't live in a society where you can say whatever you want, and there will be no repercussions. Pick and choose your battles. I think that's the key.
What I have found that my comedy is doing - and what really drives me - is to sort of bring women together through pointing out why we act so crazy.
As women, and as people, we're often forced to choose between pop culture and tearing down celebrities or a show about politics.
I was frustrated in general with the way women are always portrayed. And it's always through a man's eyes.
When you can analyze situations and figure out what's best for you, based on you and not some preconceived notion of what society expects, then nothing is a threat.
I'm a huge sketch comedy fan, and I think my love of sketch is reflected in my stand-up in that I do a lot of vignettes and voices and characters.
I drink Peet's Coffee, and they're a very authentic company. They don't try to be something that they're not, and I think that's reflective in my comedy as well.
I think more than anything, as a comedian, I grow tired of the unoriginality of 'crazy cat lady' jokes. It's a hacky joke based on an already-played-out stereotype.
My hair is just like five pieces of very soft straw that needs managing. I touch my hair a lot, and that makes it crazy.
The world is a scary place. Even my mother has suggested I take a self defense class.
