I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.
I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
