I can't be bothered to go to the gym, though. I honestly just can't be bothered - it's the most boring thing on Earth. I have tried and every six months I go 'right, I'm going to the gym'. Then I do it for two weeks and get so bored by it.
My first marriage was totally unsuitable and shouldn't have happened. It was a whirlwind, rebound thing. I was 23 or 24 - a baby.
Ruby Wax has basically ruined my career. You'll see when you watch the programme. I get more intimate with Ruby than I've ever been with another woman.
One day Mum saved up for this exciting new thing - a frozen chicken. She cooked it on the Sunday and we all sat around waiting for it, but there was a terrible smell from the kitchen. She didn't realise that the giblets were in a plastic bag inside it. We just ate vegetables and she cried and cried.
There was a great strain in our family because my father didn't want anything to do with me. He was happy to see my brother and sister, but not me. I don't know why. Maybe it was shame. I don't know. But he never wanted anything to do with me. That rejection was terribly hurtful and it went on for years.
My bottom is so big it's got its own gravitational field.
