That’s the thing about toxic relationships. They aren’t always toxic. They give us moments of happiness that we wish would last a lifetime. Those are the moments we cling onto. You convince yourself that there is enough love, underneath all of the chaos and mayhem you created in each other’s lives. You tell yourself that maybe there’s enough love left to make things work. And this made you question every little thing, including yourself. Maybe it wasn’t just him that was toxic. Maybe I was toxic to myself by continually opening the same closed doors, very well knowing there was nothing good behind them.