Little girls start changing their life as they get older. Their rhythm changes... Their stories, joys, tickles, and merriment do not change; they do. Their laughter becomes about chagrin, apology, and cordiality. It becomes a nervous laughter. It stops coming from a place of pure abandonment anymore; it comes from a place of abandoning their pure abandonment. They forget how to laugh from the bellies of their being.
It's all a conundrum, isn't itโ forgetting the mixed tape in the car... feeling forgotten when... so many people are thinking of us? Drinking when we should be eating... sleeping when we should be making love... thanking God above when we don't have enough? Each day is a mad rush to something irrelevant. We measure our pricelessness by our successes, which... still equals money. Life goes by so quick when each day is a mad rush to slow motion. We eat fast food so that we can go to bed on time, but, trust me, everyone wakes up too late.
Once upon a time ago, you loved me in Photoshop. When I was monochromatic, you gave me texture. You went through my layer mask and hit......'Reveal All'. I remember when you stared at me like I was saturated; but, sometimes I don't remember that once upon a time ago without seeing your background image losing its magic lens.
This is where I long to get home to after vacation. This is where I feel comfy in my pajamas. This is where, no matter where I go, my bed is here and none is better than my own. When I think about you, you can never be him... When once upon a time ago, I never thought there WAS a him that could ever be you.
His mind had patterns, patterns that made puzzles, and puzzles that became mazes. Those mazes had color and became labyrinthsโ labyrinths that went crazy like junglesโ and all he could trust me with was letting my fingers get lost in his curls. I played in there, for years trapped in his hair (that overthought and provoked lair)โ the only thing between my thoughts and his: the air. But, he was smart not to trust me enough. He knew. The open air looked at him with slight eyes, issued him binds of lies, like library cards ...full of fiction. And I knew this, so how could I forget? Along the way, I turned into every other female he ever loved. It was his destiny that gave me permission to pull his hair again.