A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.
Gray hair is God's graffiti.
Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow children to come back home.
There's no labor a man can do that's undignified, if he does it right.
A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.
And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.
gray hair is gods graffiti
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.
Tons of comedians have said, 'I grew up learning from Bill Cosby. He's great.' But that respect doesn't mean much to the young people. They like their ginger ale with hot sauce.
I love cake. I love pie. I love potato chips. I love salt. I do not want yogurt, plain yogurt. It's healthy. 'Why don't you like it?' Because it tastes like bad breath.
I am not going to give in to people who try to exploit me because of my celebrity status.
Learning to read clusters is not something your eyes do naturally. It takes constant practice.
There's no tradition today except initials, 'CSI,' 'NCIS,' all the rest. Even with reruns today, people don't know there was a 'Dick Van Dyke Show,' or 'Andy Griffith,' or 'Cheers.'
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made.
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
